Spin The Bottle
by DahliaStarr
Summary: Zim, drunk. Tak, exaspereated. Gir, cute. Dib, just plain dumb. one bottle. what could possibly go wrong?


Spin The Bottle

I do not own Invader Zim

"Master, what you doing?" Gir asked, looking curiously at the empty soda bottle in Zim's hand. He reached out to touch it when Zim pulled his hand back sharply.

"GIR! DO NO TOUCH THE BOTTLE THAT _ZIM_ HAS DRANK FROM! ONLY THOSE WITH THE POWER CAN TOUCH IT!" Zim, drunk, yelled. Spit flew from his mouth and landed on Gir's head.

"What dis, Master?" Gir exclaimed. He poked the liquid.

Zim, being Zim, was not listening. He popped a cap off of another bottle and chugged deeply. He wiped the brown off his mouth and held up the bottle. "I, Zim, top invader on Irk, here declare this a game of Spin the bottle!" he shook the bottle stupidly and the fizzy brown liquid sloshed all onto his hand.

Gir's eyes became wider then usual. "M-master. T-that a bad thing to do, Master."

"No, Gir! It'saperfectthingtodo!" Zim's words were slurred together. He drank deeply again and closed his eyes. "Ohhh… that's good." He moaned.

Suddenly there was a knock on the front door. Zim's eyes snapped open and he staggered to his feet. He swayed and Gir held on to him, his eyes tearful. Zim shooed him away with his hand.

"Zim needs no help." Zim rasped. He slowly trudged to the door, his feet dragging. He fumbled with the lock and finally opened the door.

There stood Dib. And Tak.

Zim dropped his bottle. "What are _you _doing here?" he gasped. He looked wildly around as if he saw the whole of Irk there too. And, in his mind, he probably did. "Where are they? Did you bring them here to attack me? 'Cause if you did I'll fight! I'll…I'll kill you all!"

Dib stared, confused. Tak just shook her head.

"What in the world are you going about now, Zim?" Tak sighed.

"Dib-filth! How dare you bring them to attack me? I, Zim, will fight you all until you all-"

Dib, who, having been afraid that Zim was going mad, backhanded him across the face. Zim fell to his knees. He clutched his wounded face.

"MASTER! MASTER WHAT'S WRONG?" Gir screamed, running out from the living room. He stopped short when he saw Zim lying on the ground. His eyes turned duty-red when he spotted Dib standing not three feet from his Master.

"You!" Duty-Gir pointed a finger at Dib. "You hurt my master! The dib-filth shall pay!" he flung himself at Dib's head clawing everywhere he could reach.

Dib screamed, "Zim! _GET YOUR ROBOT OFF MY HEAD!_"

Zim raised a hand at Gir. "Gir, stop."

Gir plopped down beside Zim, his eyes their regular blue. "Master! You okay! You wanna huggie? I love you." Gir wrapped his arms around Zim affectionately.

"Uhhh…" Tak began awkwardly. "I don't want to ruin your weird affection but we wanted to ask you something. Zim, would you like to play Truth or Dare?"

"Wha…" Zim said groggily. Gir was still hugging him.

"Would-you-like-to-play-truth-or-dare?" snapped Tak impatiently.

Zim's antenna rose slightly. "What? No! We will play spin the bottle!"

Dib and Tak exchanged a glance. "No, Zim. Truth of Dare." Dib insisted.

"No! You must obey _Zim_! We play spin the bottle!" Zim raised his voice.

"Well I guess…" Dib shrugged.

"Dib!" Tak exclaimed, shocked.

"What? Maybe it'll be fun." Dib answered.

Tak glared at her companion. "Fine."

"Yes! Victory for Zim!" Zim leaped to his feet. Gir smiled up at Zim.

"Master happy, I happy too!" Gir ran inside the house to watch his angry monkey show with his pig.

…..

Five minutes laterDib, Zim, Tak, and Gir sat cross-legged on the floor around the empty bottle. Zim spun it and…. It pointed at Gir. "MASTER! YOU GOTTA KISS ME! YOU GOTTA KISS ME! MASTER GONNA KISSY ME!" Gir screamed excitedly. He leaped at Zim and knocked him onto his back, all the while screaming, "KISS! YAY! MASTER YOU GOTTA KISS ME!" "Uff!" Zim's breath was pulled from his body as the SIR robot landed with a thump on his small chest. Tak and Dib burst into uncontrollable laughter. Dib laughed so hard tears came to his eyes and he had to hold onto his side. "Y-yeah Zim! You…you have to…to KISS HIM!" his laughter was so loud that Zim's sensitive antenna started to hurt. Which is odd seeming as they never hurt when it came to sound.

Gir on the other hand was oblivious to the obnoxious laughter and started making kissy-lips at Zim. Even though he was drunk Zim pushed Gir from his chest. The act left him breathless.

"Gir! There is no way that I would ever kiss you!" Zim shouted at the eager little robot.

Gir's baby-blue eyes fill with tears. "Master won't kiss me! Why, why, why, Master? I loveded you!"

By now Tak had begun to feel sorry for Gir. Before she even knew what she was doing, and with Dib and Zim watching with dumbfounded expressions, she crawled over beside Gir and kissed the top of his head. Gir squealed with joy and embraced Tak. "You love me! Taky give me kissy!"

Dib exchanged a glance with Zim. Tak snapped indignantly, "What? It's not like any of you were going to do it! At least I have a heart!"

Zim held his hand up in a gesture of surrender while Dib spun the bottle. He began to break out in a cold sweat as he just realized that if the bottle pointed to either Zim or Tak then he would have to kiss them. _Oh crap…_

All eyes were on the glass bottle. It seemed to spin in slow motion and time seemed to drag on and on. Finally, after what seemed like eons (or it was probably just a few minutes) then bottle stopped.

It pointed at Zim.

"WHAT? OH NO! NO WAY! I AM NOT KISSING THAT ALIEN CREATURE!" Dib's voice squeaked and he fought to control it.

Zim's was no better. But he had a different reason for being hysterical. He was drunk, after all. "HOW DARE THAT BOTTLE POINT AT ME! NO ONE POINTS AT THE MIGHTY _ZIM!_ IT SHALL PAY!" Zim grabbed the bottle and threw it against the wall where it shattered into a million pieces.

Dib was already gone; out the door and onto the road, running as if his life depended on it.

Tak and Gir were guffawing on the floor like freaks and Zim was just glaring at what used to be the bottle.

His head was fuzzy so he went to hi bed, curled up, and was soon asleep.

Tak and Gir just continued laughing as if that episode of spin the bottle was the funniest thing in the world.

And to them, it probably was.

I have no idea why I wrote that. I was bored I think. Please review but please don't point fingers or laugh evilly at it! Or Zim will haunt you…forever…hehehe…


End file.
